Me at 18

I remember the time I turned 18 years old. I thought that being "of legal age" can give you all the access you want, especially with seemingly grown up things. Well, I was wrong.



18 was the first time I got really drunk at a friend's party. I woke up the next day with my head on a toilet bowl and a bad hangover. That experience can get me killed, and that taught me to drink only what I can handle.



18 was the age when I got my own pick up truck from my dad. I drove carefully and took really good care of it, like it was my first baby. To this day, my old pick up is still in our house garage. It doesn't work that well anymore, but I hope I can still give it a little drive one of these days when I visit my parents.



18 was the age I got into a serious relationship. But as serious as it was, it only lasted for a year and a half, due to differences and parting for college. I accepted the fact that indeed, first love isn't meant to last most of the time.



18 was when I broke ties with my long time best friend. We outgrew each other, and everything changed for both of us. It hurts more than breaking up with a guy. But later on, the wounds healed and we've got our much-wanted closure. Sometimes, it feels good to let go of people that isn't healthy for you anymore. Don't settle for less, because you deserve so much better when it comes to relationships.


At 18, I said goodbye to high school and embarked on my college journey by myself. Everything was awkward and scary. Adjusting was difficult. But I learned to break barriers, adjust to situations, and got unexpected friends, new experiences, and happy moments in return.


18 was the age I thought I was really a full-time grown up.


But it's not. It's just the start of your journey to maturity. We never really grow up, we just grow wiser. And that should be your goal in life, wiser.


Once in a while, feel free to have fun. Don't forget the inner child in you.

Writer's Block Hit Me

So let me leave you with a poem by Sylvia Plath

Untitled (Tyler Knott Gregson)

Source: http://sites.psu.edu/floresrcl2012/2013/02/07/tyler-knott-gregson-meets-anna-kendrick-week-15/

Spring Breeze

The Foundation of Love

Trust.

It's something so strong yet so fragile. It takes a lifetime to build and a few seconds to destroy it, smashed into pieces that can never be rebuild. If it can be rebuild, the process is harrowing. How can you try to put back something that can never be the same again?

Trust is important in any kind of relationship, whether it be with your parents, family, lover, or anyone else. Putting your trust in each other means you won't ever let the other down. It's having your backs. But trust also means that you don't tolerate each other's wrongdoings. It's having the courage to say what needs to be heard even if it doesn't want to be heard.

Trust is the foundation of love, of human relationships. When it is established between both of you, among you, that can flourish beautifully.

Waiting and Patience

As a child, I hated waiting.

I hated waiting in line. I hated having to wait for Christmas Eve to open my presents. I hated having to wait for my turn. Like all children, I did went through a stage of being stubborn and sometimes even throwing a tantrum when I have to wait for something or someone.

But as I grew older and wiser, I learned that waiting for things can teach us something, which is the value of patience. It's a trait that not all people have, and especially difficult to develop. But learning to be patient can bring wonders into your life.

Years of waiting in line and waiting for bigger things to come definitely taught me to be patient. Sometimes, the nicer blessing is being saved just for you. Sometimes, it's a way to protect you. And most of the time, waiting can assure you that your turn will come just in time for you.

Patience is not easy to develop, but a trait worth having.

Haste can be a waste and when you learn to work hard and wait, the best will come in your life.

This is Sandra Bullock's Fault. Haha.

I got stressed from watching the movie "Gravity". I can't take the fact that George Clooney's character was left adrift in outer space to die (SPOILER ALERT!), while Sandra Bullock's character, Dr. Ryan Stone, had to fend for herself all alone. She had to find a way to get back to earth and all her astronaut companions just died out. I was nervous watching the entire movie, and felt so sorry for Dr. Stone/Sandra. That was a heck of a watch, if you don't want a romantic movie and you want something spaced-theme.

Speaking of Sandra Bullock, I re-watched the movie "Ms. Congeniality", a throwback to my high school days wherein I watched it with my friends on a sleepover night. I loved her character there, Gracie Hart, who's tomboyish, awkward, funny, and sweet. She's an FBI agent who had to go undercover in a beauty pageant so they could catch the terrorist who planned to wreak havoc at the said event. This was the movie wherein Sandra Bullock had a strong hold on my mind, having never noticed her before (even in the movie "Speed"). 

Plus, Gracie Hart reminded me of my younger self, as a teenage girl in both high school and college. I never cared much about how I looked back then and most of my friends were the neighborhood jocks, who were fond of football and biking. Add to that, I can throw a mean punch if I have to. The cafeteria bully experienced my killer fists one time when he tried to steal my lunch, and since then, he never bothered me anymore. I got quite a reputation as "that tomboyish girl",but this comes with a price. My long-time high school crush refused to take me out as a prom date when I asked him to, and in the end, I went out with one of my neighborhood jock friends. Imagine seeing his astonished face when he saw me like this:

By the way, he got a treat from me seeing all dolled up for the prom, and that night, he revealed that he's liked me ever since. That was the shock of my life as an 17-year old girl, and though I reacted awkwardly at first, he told me he was going to wait for me. I did ended up liking him, but we didn't last long. So much for high school love.

What's the point of this lengthy post? Aside from my reminiscing, it goes to show that you should be comfortable in your own skin, because there will be people who will love you for the real you. And if you want to learn how to doll up, go ahead! It may not be the desired results at first, but eventually, you'll outgrow your awkward phase and your real beauty will shine through. 

Take this ageless beauty advice from me that doesn't even need expensive treatment or surgery.

Those Pez Candies!

I used to collect those PEZ candy containers as a child! If you had a lot, you have all the bragging rights at the playground come lunch time, plus after-school play.

I wish I could get back my collection again and display them on a wall like that one.

(image courtesy of mentalfloss)

Hourglass

Time is gold indeed. It's such a repeated line that it loses its meaning quite easily. But if you look at the deeper idea of it, you'll realize that time spent can never be returned. Whatever time we have is as limited as an hourglass full of sand. It gets filled up easily as we tilt it down, and we can only contain our way of living within these 24 hours of day. But what matters the most is our quality of living, not how long we spent living. A life can be short but full or long but meaningless.

Our time should be used to love, learn, experience, make mistakes, forgive ourselves, forgive others, travel, and soak in all the goodness of life. Well, life is not always good, but there can be something good that can be drawn out of nasty experiences. When we mix together all the good and bad, there can be a wonderful symphony that can echo from it. 

Time requires much thought in being spent. But don't be so conscious that you suck out all the enjoyment from it.

This is why I like Snoopy...

Yep, I do believe a perfect friend is like him.

And don't mind the typo on the picture. Snoopy is adorbs!

Love and Hate In The Rain

The rain is something to love and hate at the same time.


Rain cleanses and refreshes the earth. It clears up the atmosphere, and paves the way for all things to grow.

But rain can also destroy. It can lead to floods that can damage everything.

I have loved and hated the rain. I loved it for the serenity it brings. Me being stuck on a rainy day can help me relax as I drink something warm and listen to soothing music.

The rain delayed some of my plans. I once got stuck in a building during a strong rain in our state, and I had to wait until next morning so I can finally go home. But in the midst of being stuck, I found a new friend, and we talked about our lives, food, and Star Wars all night as the rain poured endlessly. In the end, being stuck was a blessing. Until now, we're still friends.

I see the blessing the rain brings, knowing that it also ends, with the promise of sunshine and warmth afterwards.

Botched

Last weekend, I met a guy and went out on a date. Everything went well, until the conversation over dinner shifted to badmouthing his exes. I started to feel uncomfortable right then and there, and made an excuse to go to the ladies' room. The truth is, I left him out there and never made an attempt to contact him after that botched date. For me, a guy who badmouths his exes means that he's bound to badmouth you in the near future.


Saying No is not a difficult feat for me, since I've been taught to stand up for myself since I was a child. It helped me later on, especially in situations like this one. No way will I allow myself to go out with a jerk like that guy. Girls, better keep in mind the lessons I learned.


It's not easy to find a guy who will treat you like you're precious. Find a guy who will both be a lover and friend to you. Don't just rely on attraction or lust.


So there goes my date. I'm open to nice guys, hear me out!

This is Me When...

I'm running late and catching up to meet the bus at the bus stop.

Doing the 007 run!

I Used To Think...

I used to think that I have to adapt to people so they would like me better. Like I have to shape-shift in order to find friends. My life growing up was summarized through that thought. In junior high and high school, I tried so hard to fit in, so that I won't be labeled as an outcast. Yeah, that worked, but I would usually beat myself up for feeling such a wimp and forcing myself to be with people I really don't want to be with. I found myself being someone I'm not. Having "cool" friends won't make you happy.


On my last year of high school, I decided to just stop hanging out with them, period. That caused a little stir between me and my so-called "friends" when I started hanging out with the resident bookworm. But they let me be and started leaving me alone. At first, it hurt to endure their whispers and subtle teasing. But I never felt that free in my life as a teenager.


I learned to make friends without having to sacrifice myself. I learned that there are people who will accept me just the way I am. The best thing about having real friends is that even if they're few, you're truly happy with them, and you can be crazy with each other.


Good friends mean that you don't have to change yourself for them.

Mornings

Waking up to a good breakfast...

And a hug from your beloved...

Feeling energized and ready to take on the world...

This is what I love about mornings.

Relaxing things I love to do

Here are some ways that I unwind:


1. Drink a cup of coffee. Coffee soothes me and calms me. I know, it's meant to perk you up, but I like coffee anyway. Whether it's Starbucks or just the homemade ones, coffee is definitely my picker-upper.


2. Take naps. Taking naps can energize you and helps you rest for while. At work, I catnap if I have to.


3. Eat pizza and watch a movie. I do it with my galpals or with my beau as I curl up beside him. Enjoying movies with your loved ones along with a yummy slice of pizza can be really nice.


4. Bike around. Biking within the university grounds is not only exercise, but also gets me moving minimally.


5. Read a good book. Reading a book with a captivating story can get you back to the habit of reading. Nowadays, I just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Not Forever Alone

 

Not a religious person, but this one got me.

I like to believe the Maker will always be here for you no matter what. 

Eye of the Storm

Life's trials can be compared to being caught in the eye of a storm. At first, you're distressed and wouldn't know when this will end. But when it comes to a halt, you'll realized that storms do come to an end, and you're left feeling cleansed and ready to start anew.

Many storms have already passed in my life. The most recent one happened three years ago, wherein I lost my previous job and not knowing where my life is heading. Being a graduate student adds to the trial, because I have to work and provide sustenance to myself at the same time. So with me studying and having no work, I have to make some ways to survive.

It was rocky at first. I keep on applying to one job after the next and worrying in paying miscellaneous fees for grad school. I was about to drop grad school so I can work two jobs at the same time, when my former prof offered me an opportunity at my alma mater.

Of course, I immediately took the job offer, and a year later, I'm working in my old uni. To be honest, I didn't liked working in one place wherein I felt there is no career growth. But the years spent and the skills I learned will contribute greatly, along with my grad school credentials. I hope that I can have a career as a full-pledged instructor. But for now, I'm glad that I surpassed this storm in my life and came out stronger. I feel ready for all good possibilities that life will present me.